Okay so ....

[soncnica]

... I very rarely post things that AREN'T stories, but I need to ... have a bit of a 'I need a break' here. I was on vacation for the last 3 days with a friend of mine and we went around my country and we (totally unplanned and totally on a weird accident) visited 2 monastaries. With monks still living there. And we saw the monks, they were very polite, very quiet-spoke, very nice, kind.
And ....I wanted to write J2 where one of them is a monk.

So ... I started the story about idk half an hour or so ago and I'm two pages in ... and I'm crying like freaking rain. This wasn't supposed to be a sad story and it's not a sad story, it isn't, but I can't ... ugh, I've written a lot of stories, and some are emotional (or so the ones who left a comment say), but this one .... I just ... I was writing it and all of a sudden I just started crying. WTF!? Just seriously, WTF!? It hit me out of the blue, just ... one minute I was writing and the next tears, a lot of them! I ... I don't think I'll ever be able to finish this story and if I will, it will probably be after I'll cry a lot of tears.
I already used two tissues and I can't even see the keyboard really well, but ... I just needed to leave the story and take a break.
Oh man .... oh man ... sometimes ... sometimes writing a story isn't easy, it hurts, it hurts when you want to write something and you feel like you need to write it but your heart is figting it, but your brain is pushing you on. When you're writing it's just you and your characters and you feel/see/want what they want and ... ugh, it's just .... a bit too much to take in.
.
.
Maybe I'll finish the story and use up a year's worth supply of tears. :)
yeah ... I'll go to sleep now ... I need to wash my face and go to sleep. I can't deal with this atm.

Comments

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

I can't help thinking you getting so emotionally involved is probably a good thing for the story (if not for you!). Though it does slow things down rather...

J2 monks sounds like an interesting concept - tryfanstone wrote one were Jared was a young monk and got kidnapped by Vikings, that was fun. Well fun for the reader, not for Jared (until things got steamy, then he enjoyed it a lot!).

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

*shrugs* I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, tbh. But I do and I can't help it, ya know!? On one hand; IF you don't get involved in whatever you're writing, then the story will basically be just a description of events like reading a newspaper article (and believe me, I've read stories like that, or tried to, but never got too far, lol) and on the other hand, if you get too involved in your story, you get emotions you weren't prepared for. *sad sigh* Writing is hard! :)

I really wanted to write J2 and have one of the boys be a monk and I don't know if you read any of my stories, but I more or less write GEN J2 so this story would be GEN and no one would be liking anything *wink, wink* :) And I think I never read that story from tryfanstone ... hmmmh...

S.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Yep, Gen works too - as you know, I mostly write Gen as well. I like the sound of any story that has you weeping, I do love me a good tragedy. :D

If you want to read tryfanstone's story - it's this one http://tryfanstone.co.uk/pangurban.htm

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

yes, I love me some GEN stories, because one can get bored of sex (can't believe I said that, LOL) but anywho ... yeah tragedy ... or not *wink*

Tnx for the link, appreciate it :)

S.