soncnica: (SAM!!!)
[personal profile] soncnica
... I very rarely post things that AREN'T stories, but I need to ... have a bit of a 'I need a break' here. I was on vacation for the last 3 days with a friend of mine and we went around my country and we (totally unplanned and totally on a weird accident) visited 2 monastaries. With monks still living there. And we saw the monks, they were very polite, very quiet-spoke, very nice, kind.
And ....I wanted to write J2 where one of them is a monk.

So ... I started the story about idk half an hour or so ago and I'm two pages in ... and I'm crying like freaking rain. This wasn't supposed to be a sad story and it's not a sad story, it isn't, but I can't ... ugh, I've written a lot of stories, and some are emotional (or so the ones who left a comment say), but this one .... I just ... I was writing it and all of a sudden I just started crying. WTF!? Just seriously, WTF!? It hit me out of the blue, just ... one minute I was writing and the next tears, a lot of them! I ... I don't think I'll ever be able to finish this story and if I will, it will probably be after I'll cry a lot of tears.
I already used two tissues and I can't even see the keyboard really well, but ... I just needed to leave the story and take a break.
Oh man .... oh man ... sometimes ... sometimes writing a story isn't easy, it hurts, it hurts when you want to write something and you feel like you need to write it but your heart is figting it, but your brain is pushing you on. When you're writing it's just you and your characters and you feel/see/want what they want and ... ugh, it's just .... a bit too much to take in.
.
.
Maybe I'll finish the story and use up a year's worth supply of tears. :)
yeah ... I'll go to sleep now ... I need to wash my face and go to sleep. I can't deal with this atm.

Date: 2015-09-26 07:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] somer.livejournal.com
*huuuuuuuugs you*

You, my friend, are one exceptional writer, you know that? Just wow! And I'm dreading the moment you're actually going to post that story (no pressure, if and when or whatever), because I just know it will leave me a mess too.

But yes, maybe you should take a break now :)

Date: 2015-09-27 01:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soncnica.livejournal.com
*huuuuuuuugs you back*

*blushes* thank you! I know my stories are a bit 'out of the box' and maybe that's why I '''care''' so/too much about all the characters I put in, and the plot and scenes and emotions, and sometimes it can get a bit overwhelming. And last night, I was not expecting to start crying, it ... kinda scared me tbh. But I had a good night sleep and 'm okay today. I don't know what I'll do with the story, though. *bites lip* dunno ....

ah, the troubles of writing ... *sigh* :)

Thanks 'm dear for stopping by and for your awesome words! :)

Date: 2015-09-27 05:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herminekurotowa.livejournal.com
What somer said.

Poor honey, hope you feel better now. ♥

Date: 2015-09-27 01:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soncnica.livejournal.com
oh Dean ... ♥
and you ... ♥

I feel much better after a good night sleep :) :) thanks for stopping by and for the yummy pic :) *goes back to stare at it*

S.

Date: 2015-09-27 12:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberdreams.livejournal.com
I can't help thinking you getting so emotionally involved is probably a good thing for the story (if not for you!). Though it does slow things down rather...

J2 monks sounds like an interesting concept - tryfanstone wrote one were Jared was a young monk and got kidnapped by Vikings, that was fun. Well fun for the reader, not for Jared (until things got steamy, then he enjoyed it a lot!).

Date: 2015-09-27 01:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soncnica.livejournal.com
*shrugs* I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, tbh. But I do and I can't help it, ya know!? On one hand; IF you don't get involved in whatever you're writing, then the story will basically be just a description of events like reading a newspaper article (and believe me, I've read stories like that, or tried to, but never got too far, lol) and on the other hand, if you get too involved in your story, you get emotions you weren't prepared for. *sad sigh* Writing is hard! :)

I really wanted to write J2 and have one of the boys be a monk and I don't know if you read any of my stories, but I more or less write GEN J2 so this story would be GEN and no one would be liking anything *wink, wink* :) And I think I never read that story from tryfanstone ... hmmmh...

S.

Date: 2015-09-27 01:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberdreams.livejournal.com
Yep, Gen works too - as you know, I mostly write Gen as well. I like the sound of any story that has you weeping, I do love me a good tragedy. :D

If you want to read tryfanstone's story - it's this one http://tryfanstone.co.uk/pangurban.htm

Date: 2015-09-27 02:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soncnica.livejournal.com
yes, I love me some GEN stories, because one can get bored of sex (can't believe I said that, LOL) but anywho ... yeah tragedy ... or not *wink*

Tnx for the link, appreciate it :)

S.

Date: 2015-09-27 05:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madebyme-x.livejournal.com
I'm sorry to hear the story's giving you a hard time, but I'm sure it'll be worth your energy and emotion. Just take your time with it *hugs*

Date: 2015-09-27 05:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soncnica.livejournal.com
Hi.
Yeah, I'll have to write this one at night, when I can cry and I don't have to face people soon. :) It's either that, or delete the story and put it out of my mind.
Writing is hard, so hard .......................

Thanks! *hugs back*
S.

Date: 2015-09-27 05:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madebyme-x.livejournal.com
I sure hope you do finish it, but please don't delete it!!! I mean hide it away if you have to, but please don't delete it. You never know, right?

Date: 2015-09-27 05:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soncnica.livejournal.com
You're right - you never know - so I'll just hide it very deep in some folder and come back to it when I'll ... feel like I can! :) :)

S.

Date: 2015-09-27 05:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madebyme-x.livejournal.com
I think sometimes you can get too close to something, and maybe some time away from it will help. It would just seem like such a shame to delete something that's obviously important and emotional for you. So yeah, store it away for now, and see what happens.

Personally I'm a fic hoarder, whether it's two lines or two pages, I'll still keep it. Maybe I'll return, or maybe I won't, maybe it'll be useful for something else, or maybe I'll keep it for my eyes only.

Date: 2015-09-27 05:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soncnica.livejournal.com
I stored it in a folder I hid way deep in some other weird folders. :) And I will only work on it when I'll feel like I can :)
And oh me tooooooo!!!! I HOARD fics - I have so many, some are just one liners, some have a lot of pages already, some are just ideas and whatnot, but YES I HOARD everything, because you never know what you'll do with it, you're right about that! :) But this specific fic, idk, it just hit me by surprise...

Date: 2015-09-27 06:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madebyme-x.livejournal.com
I think you've done the right thing. Give yourself some time and space and see how you down the line.

Date: 2015-09-27 06:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soncnica.livejournal.com
exactly :)
and see!? THIS is why I posted what I did, so that I'd get some advice or some thoughts on how to handle this. :) :)
Thanks :)

*hugs*
S.

Date: 2015-09-27 06:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madebyme-x.livejournal.com
*hugs back* I'm happy that you're feeling better about it.

Date: 2015-09-27 06:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soncnica.livejournal.com
It helped to write about it and get some feedback :) It really helped :)

*hugs back tightly*

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