The Bones Are Bending

[soncnica]

Title: The Bones Are Bending
Author: soncnica
Rating: R, coz of language
Genre/pairing: Jared, Jensen, h/c
Characters: Jared, Jensen
Word count: cca. 900 words
Summary: Jared hasn't been the psychologist at Camp Gamble long. He always wanted to work with kids - troubled kids - but now it looks like he might be in over his head. Jensen is 16, Jared is 26.J2-AU This story is a continuation of Bendin' Bones, which is a continuation of Soft Skeletons.
Warnings: Umm, child abuse, language. And Jensen is 16 and Jared is 26; I played with their ages a little, and I don't care.
Disclaimer: I seriously only own the grammar/spelling mistakes. Everything else is not mine!
A/N: Story no.4 in the Kosti!verse.

Jensen shivers; it feels like cold fingers are running down his back, caressing the scars there, caressing that pain there that he so wishes he can forget.

The scars hurt him sometimes, like phantom pain; especially when the weather's bad or he sees his parents walking towards him. He doesn't know then what hurts more; the pain on his back or the promise of more pain.

He can hear the whoosh of the belt slicing through the air; feel the stinging pain when it hits the skin on his back, slicing it in two so easily, like a hot knife through butter.

He screams. Cries. Sobs: "Mooommmm…", pleads: "Dad, no! Please…", fights: "Let me go!" but nothing helps. The belt comes back down again and again and again and again and again until there is no again that he can feel.

The blood running down his spine tickles, warm caress on cold, sensitive skin.

"Jensen?"

No.

"Jensen?"

No.

"Jensen?"

No.

"Jensen?"

"No!"

"Whoah, okay, okay, hey. You're okay."

The room's bright with blue moonlight coming through a window on his left. The wall in front of his eyes has a picture on it; a lake with trees surrounding it. Peaceful.

"Jensen?"

He looks to his left and sees Jared there with his hands raised up high, placating, palms turned towards him, face shining in the moonlight, hair in his bright eyes.

Jensen wants to cry.

Wuss. Wuss, wuss, wuss. Don't cry again, you sonofabitch. Stop it.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!"

He screams and untangles his legs and arms from the blanket that's covering him, suffocating him, a heavy weight on him where he wants nothing.

He wants nothing. He wants to feel nothing, see nothing, touch nothing, he wants… nothing.

He can't breathe; he can't get air into his lungs… it hurts. Hurts his chest, hurts his lungs, hurts … he doesn't wanna suffocate, he doesn't…

"Jensen, hey…"

There are hands on his arms, warm, big hands, not his Dad's, not his Mother's, they feel safer than their parent's hands, they feel warmer, calmer… fingers rounding his forearms, tugging, pushing, but not harming, not breaking, not cutting, not painful…

"Jensen!"

He can't breathe. He can't breathe. He can't breathe. He can't…

"Jensen, look at me!"

He can hear, in the distance, the sound of him gasping for air. It's a horrible sound, choking and gasping and wheezing…

"Ya gonna choke? Jensen, ya gonna choke you filthy boy, ah, you gonna choke? Choke then…"

…but he can't stop it. Can't stop with his Dad's voice in his head, choking him.

"Jensen, come on, come on, you're safe here. Jensen, breathe, come on…"

His mind is floating, his head feeling detached from his neck, his arms held up only by Jared's arms, dark spots dancing before his eyes, where Jared's face'd been before.

"Just gonna pass out Jensen, 's okay…"

He isn't scared. He wants to feel nothing, he wants that sweet darkness to come. He's not afraid.

He lets go of the moonlight filled room. Darkness is soothing and brings with it air.

-:-

"You with me?"

The sound of Jared's gruff voice spooks him, makes him nearly piss his pants… he doesn't even… notice… what the fuck?

I should've noticed. What the fuck?

Letting himself be this vulnerable? Letting anyone just sneak behind his back and do whatever that person wants to him?

What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Jensen?"

Jared. Safe. For now.

He turns his head towards the whisper and finds the source sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, near the window.

He closes his eyes and turns his head to the other side. Doesn't want to be seen. Doesn't want to see.

"Wh't h'ppnd?"

His throat feels raw as if he'd screamed himself hoarse. Maybe he did, can't remember.

"You were dreaming."

"Yeah…"

"And then you couldn't breathe and you passed out."

He nods.

"'s okay."

No, 's not okay. 's not okay, it will never be okay. Never. Until I die.

"Yeah, yeah…"

"You wanna… talk about it?"

Talk? Fuck talking.

"No."

"Alright, no talking. Just had to ask… you know… 's what I do."

He nods. Yeah, 's what Jared does… asks questions, looks at you and talks to you and makes you talk and makes you look and makes you fall apart.

He doesn't wanna fall apart again. He just wants to lose himself in the pillow, feeling ashamed being watched like this by Jared. He can feel the guy's eyes at the side of his head; he doesn't wanna be seen, watched, talked to. He just wants to be alone. Wants to run away again. Away from everyone.

"Jensen, don't run away again, alright?"

He wishes Jared would just shut the fuck up. He can't stand the sound of Jared's voice right now, wants to claw out his veins, rather than to be here and listen to Jared and be analyzed by the guy's eyes.

He can't even stand the sound of his own heart beating. Can't stand the sound of himself breathing, Jared's breathing.

"Jensen, don't run, okay?"

Shut up.

"Jensen?"

Shut the fuck up.

He can hear Jared sigh behind him.

He pushes his head deeper into the pillow, wanting to block out any sounds.

"Okay then, I'll… I'll be right here."

Fuck, go away. Go away! GO AWAY!

"Yeah." He croaks, wishing that this could the end of the conversation and that there would be no more conversations until the day that he dies.

"Jensen…"

There is a tear threatening to spill out of his eye, but he pushes his cheek deeper into the pillow, letting the fabric swallow it up.

Don't go away. Sorry, no. Don't leave me.

"I won't run." He whispers, not wanting Jared to know how close he's to crying.

"Good… good."

I won't. Just don't leave me.

The End

A Bone Snapping

Comments

[2sexyboys.livejournal.com]

That hurt. I actually wanted to stop breathing with him...the poor thing.

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

HEY!!!

(sorry I didn't reply earlier *smiles*)

yeah I feel sorry for Jensen too, I mean he's a mess, just a mess and it hurt me to write this, but it had to be written! :)

thank you so much!

S.

[jjinmo-356.livejournal.com]

you have me spellbound by this, I can't wait for more.

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

HEYA!

((sorry I didn't reply earlier *smiles*))

spellbound!? *beams* thank you!!! WHEEE... awesome!

I'll try to write more soon!! this is a verse, so... there will be more! thank you!!!

S.

[serendip50.livejournal.com]

Love it!

Jared is irritatingly persistant...haha...but I can see that's the only way to get through to someone as broken as Jensen is.

I love how desperately forlorn and confused Jensen is and how he defiantly only responds to Jared mentally yet still seeks his comforting presence.

You have a very individually unique and captivating style of writing...I find myself quite entranced by it.

Can't wait for more.

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

HIIII!!!!
((sorry I didn't reply earlier *smiles*))

yeah Jared is persistant, but like you said.. HE HAS TO BE because this is his job, he has been trained to do this AND it's really the only way to get Jensen to talk! idk how it would work if Jared would be quiet and just let Jensen be quiet... that would get us nowhere, LOL :) and I think that Jared talking to Jensen this much is making Jensen ANGRY and while being angry he might say some things,,, ya know!? :) so... Jared will stay irritatingly persistant! :)))))

aww thank you! 'm really happy that you like my style of writing! thank you!!!! :))))

S.

[serendip50.livejournal.com]

I completely agree Jared needs to be persistent....That is the quality I like in this particular piece...and Jensen's obstinate anger:)). xx

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

:))) yeah, he really really needs to be persistent AND NEVER EVER let his guard down... never... because that will have concequences... bad ones *wink, wink*

and Jensen will be angry and get angrier and angrier until he'll just EXPLODE and that... *sigh* 'm kinda scared to write that scene, because I know I won't do it justice, but it has to be done...

THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading these stories..... means a lot to me!

S.

[maguie.livejournal.com]

Now,,, I want to cry.

Really poor Jensen I just want to hug him.

Hey can I ask you something about the chapter: "soft skeletons" ? There is a part in Italics where it says that Jensen has amazing parents that they're nice people. Who is saying that?

And when are you going to update the story?

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

aww no crying.... not yet anyway :) Jensen has Jared.. he'll be fine :) or will he be!? :O LOL

that part is actually thought by Jensen, he hears that whenever he's on the street, like neighbours talking about him, or the people in Church he meets and so on... like people around him.. :) and in that part he's thinking that, because Jared is looking at him like that :)
I hope I answered the question.. THANK you for asking :)))))

update!? ufff, when I get the chance to write the chapter on my computer... I hope I'll do it soon, because I do have it all writen I just have to write it from paper down to my computer! *groans*

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!!!!!!

S.

[maguie.livejournal.com]

No, thank you for your answer.

I have been reading other stories that you have written and I can't stop reading them, your writing is delightful.

so I'll be waiting fot the next chaptter :)

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

:)) thank you for asking...

you have!? aww thank you!!!! I'm really really happy you like my stories *beams* *hugs you*

I can PM you when I put up the next chapter if you'd like that... :)

S.

[maguie.livejournal.com]

I can PM you when I put up the next chapter if you'd like that....

Reallyyy??

Yes, I would like that, thank you very much.

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

awesome, so I'll PM you when the next chapter goes up... no problem :)))

whooot!

LOL

S.

[dreamers-dh.livejournal.com]

Could you send me a PM too?

I memed this but I'm not sure if LJ works like I want it to work

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

oh sure, yeah .. no problem... I do post this stories, whenever I write one on super_real and J2au, so if you go there, you'll be able to spot them when I post or yeah I'll send you a PM.. no problem! :)))

THANK YOU AGAIN!!! :)))))

so happy you like this 'verse :)

S.

[dreamers-dh.livejournal.com]

*blush*

I don't even know super_real or J2au.
And that's though I'm for two years in this fandom.

*is ashamed*

*goes hiding*

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

hey!!! come back here.. no hidind! :))) it's okay.. I only discovered those sites like a year ago after being in the fandom for like... 3 years for sure.. so :))) 's okay :))))
and you should go check them out... you'll find SOOOOOOOOO many stories there it'll blow your brains out!... :))))) :)

S.

[dreamers-dh.livejournal.com]

More please!!!!!!!

I love how you slipped in Jensens head again and now I want to have him some hope and rest. I want to have him a home.

Can you give him a home and hope please???

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

awww hmmm, well... erm.. there will be MORE angst to come, and then MAYBE Jensen will get a safe home... or maybe not!? because life, as we all know, doesn't play by the rules of fanfiction... so... maybe there will be a happy ending, maybe there will be a somewhat happy ending :) LOL you'll just have to stay until the end of this 'verse :)))

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!
S.

[mena-tani.livejournal.com]

The loneliness and sadness of Jensen is heartbreaking, He needs to trust in someone, and Jared has to help him, he wants to and I'm sure he will. I need to read the rest of this verse so I can see if what I want is going to happen.
As always your descriptions go straight to my mind and my heart and I can see all you write.
Thanks for share.
Hugs.

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

hey! :)
thank you so much for reading! :)
yes, Jens needs to start trusting someone, needs to see that not all people are out there to hurt him and I hope that Jens will find that trust in Jared :) there will be more, don't worry.. I love this 'verse, idk.. it's a very emotionaly draining 'verse to write BUT I like it... keeps me on my toes LOL :))))

*blushes* thank you so much, I'm really really happy you like my descriptions.... thank you! :)))))

hugs
S.

[ferrous-wheeler.livejournal.com]

So sad! Beautiful writing! Such a compelling story, I don't want to stop reading; need to find out if Jensen will be alright. Luckily for me there's another chapter, and off I go... ;)

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

Hey! Thank you so much for still reading! :-):-) hahaha, yup there is more and I am doing work on chapter 7 as we speak :-):-) so happy you're liking this :-)

S.