Okay so ....

[soncnica]

... I very rarely post things that AREN'T stories, but I need to ... have a bit of a 'I need a break' here. I was on vacation for the last 3 days with a friend of mine and we went around my country and we (totally unplanned and totally on a weird accident) visited 2 monastaries. With monks still living there. And we saw the monks, they were very polite, very quiet-spoke, very nice, kind.
And ....I wanted to write J2 where one of them is a monk.

So ... I started the story about idk half an hour or so ago and I'm two pages in ... and I'm crying like freaking rain. This wasn't supposed to be a sad story and it's not a sad story, it isn't, but I can't ... ugh, I've written a lot of stories, and some are emotional (or so the ones who left a comment say), but this one .... I just ... I was writing it and all of a sudden I just started crying. WTF!? Just seriously, WTF!? It hit me out of the blue, just ... one minute I was writing and the next tears, a lot of them! I ... I don't think I'll ever be able to finish this story and if I will, it will probably be after I'll cry a lot of tears.
I already used two tissues and I can't even see the keyboard really well, but ... I just needed to leave the story and take a break.
Oh man .... oh man ... sometimes ... sometimes writing a story isn't easy, it hurts, it hurts when you want to write something and you feel like you need to write it but your heart is figting it, but your brain is pushing you on. When you're writing it's just you and your characters and you feel/see/want what they want and ... ugh, it's just .... a bit too much to take in.
.
.
Maybe I'll finish the story and use up a year's worth supply of tears. :)
yeah ... I'll go to sleep now ... I need to wash my face and go to sleep. I can't deal with this atm.

Comments

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

You're right - you never know - so I'll just hide it very deep in some folder and come back to it when I'll ... feel like I can! :) :)

S.

[madebyme-x.livejournal.com]

I think sometimes you can get too close to something, and maybe some time away from it will help. It would just seem like such a shame to delete something that's obviously important and emotional for you. So yeah, store it away for now, and see what happens.

Personally I'm a fic hoarder, whether it's two lines or two pages, I'll still keep it. Maybe I'll return, or maybe I won't, maybe it'll be useful for something else, or maybe I'll keep it for my eyes only.

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

I stored it in a folder I hid way deep in some other weird folders. :) And I will only work on it when I'll feel like I can :)
And oh me tooooooo!!!! I HOARD fics - I have so many, some are just one liners, some have a lot of pages already, some are just ideas and whatnot, but YES I HOARD everything, because you never know what you'll do with it, you're right about that! :) But this specific fic, idk, it just hit me by surprise...

[madebyme-x.livejournal.com]

I think you've done the right thing. Give yourself some time and space and see how you down the line.

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

exactly :)
and see!? THIS is why I posted what I did, so that I'd get some advice or some thoughts on how to handle this. :) :)
Thanks :)

*hugs*
S.

[madebyme-x.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* I'm happy that you're feeling better about it.

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

It helped to write about it and get some feedback :) It really helped :)

*hugs back tightly*