Chapter 4

[soncnica]

CHAPTER 4

Home. He wished he was home … but he had none. His 'home' had been dead for years now, his home had been the forests and abandoned, half-torn down farms. There was no home for him, or anyone really. All there was were skeletons of cities and towns, overgrown with grass and bushes and trees, carving their way into everything.

All there was were the sewers for people to hide in or the intricate tunnels of subways.

All there was were forests and mountain huts, caves and boats.

All there was were abandoned, run down houses and farms for people to stay in for a couple of days and then move on.

Moving was of the essence. Moving was what kept everyone alive and breathing and surviving another day – of course, only if they wanted that. Moving was what made the Icies lose their trail and stop hunting. What made humans lose trail and stop hunting.

Because that was what they were all doing. Hunting. They were beasts in the form of men, who hunted their prey until caught. And then? No one knew what then. The Icies came and they killed and they ruined the planet … and then what?

Nothing, that was what. Humans adapted, learned to live a new life, learned to live a life that was … adjusted to early mornings and early nights, rainy Fridays and being constantly in the role of prey.

Human meat – sometimes – was better than any animal's; had more protein, tasted like pork, if cooked right. Or so the folk down in the sewers said. He hadn't been so desperate yet, to eat a person. But he would, if he had to.

But right now, Jensen wished for a deer or an elk or a bear or any other wild animal to have been the one to chase all of those birds away.

"Jared," he hissed, "d'you have any weapons?"

"I have your knife."

They were whispering, standing shoulder to shoulder, keeping their eyes to where the birds had flown into the clear skies.

He wanted to be pissed at Jared for having his knife all along and never saying a word, but then again, why would he? The man would've gotten the knife in his heart the second Jensen's hand would've touched the wooden handle.

But there it was. His baby, held so delicately in Jared's big hand.

"Oh my baby," he whispered to the knife when Jared gave it to him and tightened his grip on the handle, "you ready to do some damage, sweetheart?"

"Don't talk to your knife, 's creepy."

"Shut up, 's my knife. I just wish I'd had my bow and arrows."

"'m sorry, I was only able to get this. We'll make a new bow."

"Yeah, if whoever or whatever scared the birds will die."

"I can't tell if it's a human or not, but it's definitely not an animal."

"Icies?"

"I think … I," the noise - so similar to wind chimes people used to hung at their houses - in Jared's head became stronger, louder and he knew, "… yeah." He knew who it was.

"Fuck."

"We need to go, we need to go now Jensen. I'm not ready for this, you … you're not ready. We need to run. Go, now! Go, go, go!"

Jared pushed Jensen on his shoulder and they ran through the small bushes and fern and amongst the tall, thin trees, jumping over large rocks, Jensen following Jared's broad back, trusting the man to know where he was going, where he was leading them. Trusting the man to know a safe place to hide, where they would be able to lose whoever it was that had found them, to get some rest and where Jensen would be able to get some goddamn answers, even if he would need to cut them out of Jared. He would cut them out if that's what it would take; his mind was soaring with the need for answers even when his whole body was screaming at him to stop, take a breath and pass out. He gripped the handle of the knife tighter, needing to feel its soothing presence. He had killed with that knife, it had never failed him and he had faith in it that it would never fail him in the future. He just needed to run, one foot before the other, just run, jump over a lush fern, run, run and ignore the burning pain in his right side.

He knew he'd had worse injuries in the past; broken bones, cuts and grazes, dislocated shoulder, bruises and scrapes and for three days long an eye which had been swollen completely shut that had made him stay inside a large metal dumpster hidden in a dark alley until the swelling went down and he could see.

Seeing was living.

And what he was seeing now was Jared's broad back and tall grass under his own feet.

And then Jared stopped as if his legs suddenly got cemented into the ground and Jensen ran into the man's back: "Uff," stumbling backwards, because: "Fuck did you stop for?"

"Wall."

He looked and saw … a wall?

It was a wall. A brick wall, or so it looked like with grass and moss and tiny spruce trees growing from the cracks. Actual tiny spruce trees were growing out of the cracks in the wall. Fuckin' hell.

"We need to find a door. Has to be here somewhere."

"Where the hell are we?"

"A stadium."

"A stadium?"

"Yeah Jensen, a stadium, now help me look for the damn door so that we can go out."

"A stadium," he muttered under his breath and stepped closer to the wall. A very tall wall. Way up high.

He placed his palm - through some green, thin vines that were hanging over the wall - on the cracked bricks … it felt cold, but solid, even with all the vegetation that was growing out of it.

He didn't dare too look up too much, because there were actual trees growing above his head and he didn't want to even think what would happen if they'd decide to stop defying gravity and fall on his head.

God, he just wanted to make it to thirty-five(ish).

"Found it."

There was victory in Jared's voice and it make Jensen roll his eyes: "Great, open 'em and let's get out of here."

The place, now that he knew what it was, was starting to give him the creeps, he could actually feel the hair at the back of his neck start to raise and shivers start to travel down his spine. There was a huge bricked wall in front of him and a mini forest behind him that hid whatever was chasing them. That possibly hid his death.

A stadium. He didn't know for what sports, but it didn't matter anyhow, because there was no sports. The only sport there was was hunting and surviving.

And he always played his A-game in that sport, won a couple of World Cups too.

"Jared!"

The deep, booming voice made them turn around and Jared's hand slip off of an iron barred door.

"Jared, come on, now! Don't run away! Again!"

"Noleih," Jared whispered to Jensen and started to pull on the iron bars again, slowly getting the rusted hinges to break away from the brittle bricks.

"Jensen, talk some sense into the guy, why don't you!"

Jensen took a deep breath and opened his mouth to 'talk' something all right, but a hand clamped over his half open mouth and he looked at Jared, rolling his eyes at the man's: "Shhh, don't."

Damn it, because he really, really wanted to. He had all kinds of great comebacks and some really thought out cuss words, but his uncle … always a party pooper.

He licked Jared's palm, winking at Jared when the man grimaced and whispered: "Asshole."

He narrowed his eyes and pulled down his uncle's hand, closing his mouth. Fine. So he'll be quiet. He could be quiet; wasn't his style though but he had a sense that this wasn't his fight.

"Come on you guys, just come out from wherever you're hiding and we'll talk."

Jared rolled his eyes, because he knew that talking was the very last thing his brother wanted to do. He knew Noleih, knew him very well, as he had slept hand in hand with the man for millions of years. Noleih had been on his left side, while Alineja had been on his right and the three of them had slept under the ice and the cold water for so many years, he knew both of them and in return, they both knew him.

But while Noleih became the one to seed fear among their kind; fear of the humans and thus making some of their kind scared of humans to such a degree that they killed, they destroyed and enslaved, Alineja became Jared's right hand. His companion, his most trusted advisor, his teacher, his beloved little sister who fought against their own kind, who tried to reason with their kind, who tried to make them see that humans … they knew nothing. That they weren't dangerous, not like Noleih made them be.

That humans tracking devices malfunctioning wasn't some big master plan of humans to destroy them but it was simply a … glitch.

But Noleih had many followers, while Jared and Alineja had only a handful.

"Come on, brother, haven't you seen reason by now?! The humans are dangerous, they are killing us!"

Jared wanted to shout back all of the things that he had already said to his brother on so many occasions, but what would be the point? The stubborn man hadn't listened to a word Jared had said then, so why would he now?

"You taking care of that human won't end well! He will kill you, do you understand me?! He had killed his own kind, what makes you think he won't kill you too, brother?! You're his enemy, Jared! My brother, please see reason!"

Jared closed his eyes and pulled on the iron bar he was gripping with white knuckles. The old, rusty hinges gave way and he stood there with the door in his hands and his brother's words taunting him.

Family could always hurt you where it truly does hurt the most.

He looked at Jensen seeing nothing; the kid's face was a blank which could mean many things, the knife in Jensen's hand was pointed towards the ground, the kid's whole body poised for an attack no matter where it would come from. Jared didn't have time to think about what was going through Jensen's head. Not with Noleih coming closer and closer to them with the intent to kill them. Rip them apart and get rid of two more pests.

He threw the door away, into some hazel that was growing to the right and pushed Jensen through the door into a narrow, dark corridor.

"Run and don't look back, Jensen!"

Noleih's: "Little brother!" followed them into the darkness.

It wasn't all that dark once their eyes adjusted, just dim and when they rounded a corner they could see light at the end of the tunnel they were running in. They had to dodge some broken doors that were lying all over the place, some benches and some lockers, but the light was coming closer and closer the faster they ran and when they stumbled onto a road, they stopped.

Hands on their knees and trying to fill their lungs with fresh air, they looked up and down the road, seeing nothing but some birch trees and some cars that were only scrap metal now.

"Where to?"

"I don't know. Left?"

"Okay."

They went left, hoping it was the right choice.

Jared kept looking back but there was no sign of his brother. There was no sign of anyone, really, the street empty, except for some long dead cars and buildings where no one lived in anymore. It was all overgrown with vegetation; branches poking out of broken windows, pigeons making soft, throaty cooing noises all around them, the sun blasting them with heat that was almost unbearable when it reflected off the cracked asphalt beneath their feet.

The street was long, lit by the bright yellow sunlight; quiet, everything looking as if was made of stone.

But they could still be watched. Jared couldn't sense any humans, but that didn't mean that there were none, they could just be the ones whose trackers malfunctioned and had been taken out.

"We need to find somewhere to hole up."

Jensen's words were quiet and the kid's voice serious. This was, after all, Jensen's territory. This was what the kid had been doing all of … all of the time that Jared had been gone. That Alineja had been gone. Travelling, moving, searching for safe places to stay in and avoiding humans and Icies alike.

While Jared'd been up north in the Arctic, making plans and strategizing, Jensen had been down south, surviving.

The kid was strong and tough, Alineja had taught him well, had taught him everything they had agreed that Jensen needed to know. He just didn't know where all that attitude came from, not that he didn't like it, but he bet that it got Jensen in a lot of troubles throughout the years.

The kid grew some balls, he had to give him that.

"We need to find something that's away from the road, but not the sewers and not the subway tunnels. I'm not in the mood to kill anyone right now, and those places are crawling with things to kill."

The flippant way Jensen said that, like it meant nothing that by 'things' he meant humans … it made something in Jared's heart pinch. Jensen had killed his own kind. Jensen would kill his own kind … to protect himself. To save himself.

Noleih, get out of my head!

Noleih was probably grinning somewhere inside of his damaged mind for planting the seed of doubt in Jared's head.

Big brothers were infuriating!

But no, Jensen would never kill him. The kid, for all his courage and will to live, would never go against his heart. And Jared was family.

Wasn't he?

"Yeah, yeah we … need a house or something."

"Can't go back to the house I've been in when your bro and his friend found me and damn it, I had clothes there. And food and a towel and a blanket. And a bathtub." He whined, because damn it, he loved that bathtub.

"Yeah, well … I've been there."

Jensen stopped and turned around: "You what?"

"I've been there, took some of your food and water, took your knife. Didn't take your bow sorry or your clothes, but they were wet anyway. We'll find you some new pants and get more food."

"Damn right we will, but not before you're gonna tell me everything," he poked Jared in his chest with the point of his knife, smirking inside at the man's twitch, "and I mean everything about the tracking device, about what the fuck your brother wants and … and just everything."

"After," Jared puffed out his chest, getting the tip of the knife to push harder at his skin, just to make Jensen realize that he wasn't scared, that he wouldn't hurt Jensen, "we find a safe place to stay, I'll tell you, I promise."

"You better and I don't care if a tornado interrupts us this time, you're talking."

"Fine."

"Damn right, it's fine."

The knife went away, but Jared could still feel it pressing into his chest; the grit on this kid … Alineja did right by him.

Jared had been all over the world, before the Earth became like this and after and it never ceased to surprise him just how much damage they had done when they had risen. How seriously they'd messed up. How much their fear had damaged this once so beautiful planet. If they'd known, they would never ever have risen.

But fear for their own existence and a pinch of curiosity and here they were now.

Hated. Killers. Hunted and hunters.

He would make this right. Somehow he would make this right. He had to. He had to make his brother see reason, see what they had caused, simply by being so scared. But Noleih had taken a step further than that. He became greedy, developed a desire to rule over this stunning planet, over the humankind. Got a thought stuck into his head that he was the one to ensure that this planet would be their home, as they were here first.

Stupid, stupid, greedy little man.

Jared had to stop him. One way or another, Noleih had to be stopped. His followers needed to be stopped.

Jared and his own followers were doing their best to keep anything, everything of what the Icies were doing to the humans a secret; they spread false rumors, they spread lies and half-truths, they hid facts and scattered a lot of misinformation around. What the humans knew, or thought they knew, were all lies mixed with pinches of truth. But mostly lies.

They couldn't have the humans know how to kill the Icies, they couldn't have their own brothers and sisters, even if swayed to the wrong side as they were, be killed. They were siblings, they loved each other, no matter what. Their Father … Jared felt as if he had betrayed him. He had let his own brethren fall apart, had let his siblings develop … human emotions. Fear, greed, love, hatred.

He apologized to his Father every time the sun went down and every time the sun came up, even though he knew that his Father couldn't hear him, couldn't answer him, but in some way … he needed to say sorry. Say 'I'll bring them back, I promise Father.'

The street they were walking on looked as if it was carved through a thick forest. There were some side streets, gapping like big, black open mouths that could spit out an enemy at any moment.

He shook his head. He had walked this same street so many years ago, when it was still bristling with life; cars and people and that one hot dog stand with a black-haired man, who sold him the most delicious hot dog with a lot of mustard and mayonnaise.

Memories were never okay, memories made his heart hurt. Memories made him see just how many thing Jensen would never get to experience. No hot dogs with extra mustard and mayonnaise for Jensen. No music, no movies, no chocolate cakes for Jensen.

He looked at the kid who was walking beside him and ached. Wanted to say sorry for so many things, but … Jensen couldn't miss – not really – what he never had.

So he bit his tongue and kept on walking, mindful of the cracks beneath his feet. While breaking or twisting his ankle wouldn't kill him, it would still hurt and incapacitate him for a few hours.

Hours that they didn't have.

"Wait, stop."

A heavy hand slapping on Jensen's chest, right between his nipples stopped him mid-stride.

"What?" he snapped.

They needed to find shelter before dusk, damn it; he had needs. Like a need to piss, a need for food, a need to sit down, curl up and cry over the pain in his side. Like a need to get his soiled pants off of him, because he could smell the proof of his fear emanating from them like smoke, a need to get away from the sun and the heat that was making him sweat buckets and giving him a sunburn all over his nape. He wasn't an Icy, he couldn't go a day without at least a bite of food and some rest. He was a human; just a human. A tired, sleepy, in need of rest human being.

"Humans, I … I can feel 'em."

His eyes widened and he gripped his knife tighter, scanning his surroundings. There were trees everywhere, and broken cars and windowless houses and back allies and: "Where?"

"Left."

They didn't even have the time to turn around, before a shaky voice called out: "Drop, d-drop the, the knife."

Jensen smirked at a bend street light, turned around and threw his knife, blade first, hitting a girl directly into her heart. Straight in, no pussyfooting around bone and muscles and breasts.

Her eyes widened on her dirt covered face, before she dropped down to the ground; legs folding, arms flailing, long, black hair spilling around her head and her thin, dirty shirt forming a red stain around the protruding knife.

"What the hell? Jensen!" his biceps were gripped with bruising strength and he winced, looking up at Jared's face. Which was a mistake, because the Icy's eyes were gleaming in the sunlight; blue, green, orange, spots of yellow. He swayed on his feet, swayed right into Jared's hands that were probably the only thing holding him up right then.

"She," Jared twisted around to look at the body, grimacing at the sight, and then turning back, chasing Jensen's eyes and finding them be stone cold, "… she was just a kid, Jensen. A child."

Jared pressed his fingers deeper into Jensen's biceps before letting go and walking closer to the body and Jensen could see it now; just a kid, couldn't have been more than fifteen or so. Maybe even younger.

"Trust me," his voice was cold, sucked of all emotions, "she would've killed us." He sidestepped Jared and crouched down to pull the knife out of her still heart. He didn't dare look into the girl's face. He didn't need her eyes to haunt his dreams. He did what he had to do.

"Jensen, we didn't teach you to kill kids. To kill just like that."

Jensen wiped the blade into the kid's blue shirt and stood up, snarling directly into Jared's face, pointing tip of the still warm knife at the man's heart again: "You left me alone. I taught myself kill or be killed. And I really don't wanna die. Not yet."

"Okay, all right."

Jared didn't want to argue, didn't want to provoke, didn't want to subdue Jensen in any way or form. So he dropped it. For now.

Jensen blinked and redrew the knife, hefting it in his hand. It felt heaver. One soul heavier.

"Jojo!"

A female voice called from somewhere in the nearby back ally, her voice on the brink of tears making them turn around. There was a young girl, thin and small, couldn't be more than twelve running from the darkness straight at them. Straight to the body lying on the ground before them.

"Jojo!"

She stopped, seeing them first and her eyes widened, becoming wetter than they'd been, but then she saw the girl – Jojo – lying on the asphalt.

"Jojo!" it was a scream and a wail as she ran towards the kid and knelt before the cooling body.

She didn't see them after that - probably didn't give a rat's ass if they killed her too or not – even if they were standing by Jojo's sprawled legs.

She didn't see them as they walked away, her hands holding Jojo around her still chest, her forehead leaned on her bleeding heart.

"I did what I had to." Jensen muttered as they started walking down the road, the girl's sobs getting quieter and quieter the further they went.

But they would stay embedded in Jensen's brain forever. Just one more sound to accompany an array of others. One more soul to haunt him in the shadows.

He twitched when Jared put his hand on the small of his back, lightly pushing him forward and to the right, around a corner. There were signs of a traffic light there, something that had no meaning in the here and now.

He leaned into the touch; one second, two, three and then fastened his step.

He didn't need comfort or understanding. What he needed was to clean his own blood, sweat, piss and vomit off of himself and get some shut eye.

He was itching all over and he knew that it wasn't just the dirt on the outside making him wanna scratch his skin off.

This was getting familiar. Scary familiar. That tree, that bush, that wreckage of a house.

That house.

"Wait, what the hell?"

"It's the house you've been staying at."

"I can fuckin' see that. Why're we here?"

He couldn't stop staring at it. It was the same house he had been … wait …

"How long," he swallowed, "how long was I … ya know?"

"Two days."

"Two …" he couldn't breathe all of a sudden. Two days? Two? Seriously? That … that was a long time to be in the hands of Psycho number one and Psycho number two. Two days, but he didn't crack. He didn't die.

"Jensen, calm down."

"Two days?"

"Yeah …"

"We can't … can't stay here, you stupid or somethin'? They, Noah, he, he knows this place. He found me here. How dumb are you? You know what, don't answer that, just … fuck."

He was pinned to the ground before he could draw his next breath, his back hitting the asphalt hard, taking his breath away and all he could do was lean his head back to the palm that prevented him to spill his brains all over the road and look up at Jared's face that was inches from his own, but still far enough away so that he didn't need to cross his teary eyes to see the man.

"Now you're gonna listen to me, Jensen. I know what I'm doing, you hear me? So stove this attitude when around me and we'll be just fine."

His hands were pinned to his heaving chest, the whole of Jared's weight on him, their legs intertwined and there was no escape. He couldn't even find enough leverage to flip them.

"I know I left. I know you had to do a lot of things to survive. I know, believe me, I know Jensen, but that doesn't give you the right to talk to me like that. 'm not here to hurt you, never was."

He scoffed when Jared said 'things' as if the man was afraid to say killed, stole, maimed. He huffed and tried to head butt Jared, but the man was faster and pulled his head back, before Jensen could make impact.

"Jensen, stop it. Just stop it, all right?"

Jensen closed his eyes, twisted his head up trying to get more air into his lungs and whispered: "I can't stop."

"Why not?"

"I … because … I don't wanna die."

He opened his eyes and saw Jared open his mouth to say something, but he was faster: "Get offa me," because he didn't want to listen to whatever Jared was about to say. He didn't need any lectures on anything, especially on his view of life and death and the messed up shit that was his mind. He didn't need that and he especially didn't need that from Jared. He seriously didn't have the patience or the desire to listen to some more of the man's psycho mumbo jumbo.

"Okay, okay."

"Get off!" he yelled when Jared hadn't moved an inch, still constricting his breathing and making him very, very uncomfortable.

"Okay, but promise me …"

"I aint' gotta promise you anything."

Jared sighed: "Then do it for Alineja."

"Fuck you." He growled and pushed at Jared, but the man was like a boulder lying on top of him. A solid, unmoving mass of soft eyes and calm voice.

It was grating on his nerves and he wanted nothing more than to punch the living shit out of the man.

But he was right. Alineja would've dusted his hide if he'd ever spoken to her like this.

"Fine. For Alineja."

He'd do anything for her, even if she had been an Icy, even if she had lied to him, even if she deceived him … but she didn't deserve to die. Not like how she did.

Jared climbed off of him and offered him a hand to pull him up. He'd rather spit on that hand than take it, but for Alineja …

… the calm that rushed all over him made him stumble a little, but Jared held tight.

"Stop … stop using your mojo on me."

"'m sorry, I … I can't really control it. I … we didn't know we had such an effect on humans. 'm sorry."

"Whatever, let's just … go find a place to stay."

"Jensen, we're staying in this house."

"No. No, no, didn't we just have this conversation? It's not safe here …"

"I know, but I know my brother. I know that he thinks that you and I are probably miles away from here already. He'd never even consider us going back here. Trust me."

He was still sceptic, because what a dumbass plan, but okay. For Alineja he would try and … besides, Noah was after Jared. Maybe if he got the man, he'd leave Jensen alone.

"Fine then."

"Fine."

This was such a stupid plan, it was a high risk to do this, go back to the house where he'd been found, but in a crazy, weird, coo coo and bananas kinda way, it sounded smart too, because really – who would be so insane to go back?

No one, yet apparently Jensen.

Everything was just as he'd left it. His beautiful bow and quiver were still leaned to the wall next to the 'bed', his clothes were still soaking in the tub and he blushed a bit remembering that there was also his jizz in there – yikes – but he still pulled the clothes out, wrung them out and arranged them to hang off of wires poking out of broken walls.

He removed the shirt he had been wearing and scooped up some water – dirty, dirty come filled water – and poured it down his chest, removing the crusted blood and grime and three days' worth of sweat.

He grimaced, wishing for clean water, clean hot water, but he clenched his jaw. He had to get somewhat clean and this was the only way.

He pulled off his soiled sweats and couldn't look down. He didn't want to know how dirty his junk was, he just stepped into the bathtub, scooped up some water and shut his eyes, when he felt his pubic hair feel as if it had dreads. He hoped no lice started to breed down there, because that would just be fan-fucking-tastic.

"Ssshit." He hissed, because it was freezing cold but he gritted his teeth and cleaned himself as best as he could, letting the water run down his legs and back to the tub.

"Shit."

It smelled awful, like something had died in it, but it was all he had, although the first river or a stream he'd come across, had his name on it. He would jump in it, no matter if it ran up or down, if it was hot or cold, if it was full of flesh eating fish or not, he was going to jump in and get properly cleaned.

He had found some semi-clean boxers – weren't his, found them in the same hut as the towel – and put them on. It would have to do, until his clothes would dry.

He wanted to throw the sweats into the water too, because clothes were scarce and hard to come by, but … they would probably always remind him of what a damn failure he was; allowing himself to be caught like that, allowing himself to be tortured. Fucking hell.

He wanted to forget all of that, wanted to learn from it and then forget about it, only the lesson to remain. Only the anger – he wanted to keep that, let it feed him for as long as it would take him to rip Noah's spine right out of his back.

He threw the sweats into the corner, to rot.

Jared was sitting on the plank that served as the bed, his knees tucked all the way up to his ears, head in his hands.

It was a sad sight, watching his … watching Jared be like that. Sad, tired and miserable. Haunted. Weighted down by years and years of living among family who wanted him dead.

He shook those thoughts away, crossed his arms at his chest and leaned on the door frame, being as far away as he could from the Icy: "We need to talk, Jared, so … talk."

Jared's head snapped up from his hands: "Yeah, yeah we do. Sit down," and he looked beat; a man defeated by his demons. Tired. So tired and if anyone knew how that felt, it was Jensen. A piercing pain shot through his heart, seeing Jared be like that. It was a feeling he had long forgotten; compassion.

"Sure."

He sat down next to Jared, pressing their shoulders together. Jared had lit up some candles, the flames flickering and casting shadows on the walls, but they didn't look as if they wanted to grab him and drag him kicking and screaming into the abyss.

His uncle's – Sam's – fuck, Jared's presence had always kept them away. Even when he had been a child and wherever he had stayed; be it a cave, a house or a forest, his uncle's presence, Alineja's presence … it kept fear away.

Up until now, he never really knew, never really understood just how much they both kept him sheltered, hidden, in peace.

Jared cleared his throat and his voice held a cadence of someone telling their child a bedtime story. Alineja had used that tone often.

"We slept under the ice up … up in the Arctic, well you call it Arctic, we just," Jared shrugged, "just see ice, a place where it's really quiet. So quiet, just the ice moving. We … we, uh, we were there for years and years, you understand? My kind, we came from darkness that got split by light and we ended up … here. We laid down on the first," he made quote-y fingers, because back then, they didn't know it was a planet "'planet' we saw. And slept. And then … we felt tremors, but we felt that a lot, but this was different. So we went to see. And we saw, Jensen."

He looked at Jensen then, the candle light dancing on the man's face that was set in a hard line, jaw clenched and eyes looking straight ahead.

"We saw the very first of your kind. Our Father, our Elder … he knew, somehow, I don't know how, but he knew that you'd stay. That you would never go away. So," he took a deep breath, "we had to monitor you. We didn't know how dangerous or not you'd become."

"What tracking devices? Just tell me."

Jensen's voice didn't sound like his voice; it was too hoarse, too weak and when Jared sighed, he wanted to punch the man in his neck, to stop all of these … these words flowing out of Jared's mouth like a damn fairytale.

"After my Father put the tracking device into the … the human … my Father died. He was our leader, he," he shook his head, not wanting to remember the horrible sight of his Father crumbling into broken crystals and dust, "and then I took his role. I'm the Elder of our kind now."

Jensen licked his lips and whispered: "Fuck …" to the wall in front of him, because he couldn't look at Jared. The man wasn't just an Icy, he was … their fuckin' leader. And fatherless, just like him.

"Your mom?"

"Died, when the light … we never found her."

Motherless. And fatherless. Just like him and he knew the pain of that. Knew how it was to have that kind hole inside of you. There was never anything that could ever fill it up; not even when Alineja or Jared were telling him stories of his mom … that just made that hole grew bigger and bigger.

"Okay…"

Jared cleared his throat: "And then the tracking devices stopped working on some humans, not all, you see, but some which made us terrified. Not all of us, some of us still believed that it was nothing, that humans knew nothing about us, didn't even know that we were on this planet. But," he took a deep breath, "others got scared and it was my job to protect them. My job to keep us all safe. So we chose to rise and see what was happening. We observed for a while, but," he shrugged, "some were too eager, too scared that humans knew about us and were trying to harm us. Some of my sisters and brothers thought that humans were trying to kill all of us."

"Your brother, uhh, Noah?"

"Noleih? Yeah, he … he's the one who leads them. They're the ones who kill people, kill even their own. They are killing our brothers and sisters, they are killing our family … their own kin." Jared took a deep breath and shuddered, "They're the ones who want to kill everyone here and get this planet back to how it was. With no humans, just … animals and water and vegetation. Ice."

"But … but they can't do that. It's ..."

"… they're trying, but you humans are sneaky, hiding really well. Noleih is trying and his followers are trying, and we're doing everything we can to stop them, we are, trust me. We're going to get our sisters and brothers back and I'm gonna take them back to the Arctic to sleep. I promise."

"Well, you're not doing a good job at it, because look around, man, the world is dying, people are … they're turning into monsters, they … and you're killing them. Everywhere it's just death."

"… when we rose up, we didn't know that all of this would happen to Earth. We didn't know, Jensen. I didn't know. I mean, when we first rose up and walked the Earth, it was still in bloom, still developing into all that it was and even if we did shift anything back then, we didn't know. But now, thinking back at it, I guess we did."

Jensen nodded, because well, if they made the Earth crack like this, then who knows what they'd done when they'd rose for the first time.

"Why did they stop working? The devices?"

Jared huffed: "Because they ... malfunctioned. Ever heard of appendicitis, or well that's what your doctors call it … that's ... it's the devices malfunctioning. And when they do, your doctors remove them. Either that or you can die."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait," he got up from the bed and turned to look at Jared to see if the man was making fun of him, because that just had to have been a joke, "wait, so, so … so you're saying my … m-my appendix is your tracking device? The thing your dad installed into, what? Into all of us?"

"Our Father, yes."

He washed a trembling hand down his face and rubbed his mouth, because: "Jesus fuck." and then let his hand fall down to his right side that still felt tender when he pressed his fingertips into the skin: "Fuckin' hell. H-how's that even possible?"

Jared shrugged: "It was something you all already had, my Father just … made it into something more active. We didn't know that they'd start malfunctioning. 'm sorry."

Jensen looked down at Jared's face, the apology sincere and almost radiant on the man's face, but his shoulders were still slumped, probably by the weight of his family slaughtering each other.

Damn, Jared's brothers and sisters were killing each other. And for what? Power? They were no better than human in the old age, before the Earthquake.

He had to sit down. He had to sit down, before he'd fall down and break his skull, because his legs were starting to feel wobbly and his eyes were starting to cross.

"Jensen, sit down."

He sat down because holy shit, everything was just too much. It was … too much.

"Come on, man, lie down. It's okay. We're safe here."

He felt hands on his shoulder and bicep, pushing him down to the blanket and he went, pliant as a blade of grass in the wind, his head hitting the wood nice and easy. No skull breakin' gonna happen tonight.

"'s it, kid, just … go to sleep, okay?"

He couldn't speak, because what … what could one say to all of that? Nothing and too much, so he just lay there and watched as Jared blew out the candles, turning the room into a dark, smoke filled space.

A rustle of clothes as Jared slid down the wall opposite the bed and a small sigh made Jensen's heart skip a beat. The last time he had been lying like this, he had been alone, one soul lighter and clueless.

But now, in this dark room that smelled of smoke and candle wax, the pressure in his chest intensified, the boulder pressing deeper onto his lungs … he reached out to pet the string of the bow, calming down at the presence of something that had never let him down.

He turned around slowly, showing his back to the man because he couldn't bear to be seen by Jared. And he didn't want to see the man either.

He closed his eyes, but the darkness didn't bring any relief; there were too many thoughts in his head, too many things to sort out and put into piles. Too many images, too many ideas. His brain was a whirlwind of pictures that Jared's words had conjured. Crazy crap. Craaaazy crap.

He curled his palm around his hip, pushing trembling fingers into the cold, sweat slicked skin. It was smooth, no indication that anyone had ever messed with that place there. It ached; a dull throb, but nothing he couldn't handle. He'd had worse.

"'m sorry, Jensen."

He flinched at the sudden sound which made him press his fingers deeper into the tender skin, eliciting a hiss and a groan when the tips of his fingers pushed against the sensitive spot. He squeezed his eyes even tighter, trying to hold back a tear that wanted to slip past his eyelashes.

"Jensen?"

First the concern and then the calming balm that emanated from Jared made his head spin for a second before he got back down to Earth.

"'m fine." He gritted out and cursed at himself when his voice came out cracked at the edges.

He didn't want apologies; they wouldn't change one goddamn thing. He didn't need to calm down; it wouldn't change one damn thing. He didn't want to talk or listen or anything that would make him interact with the man he'd trusted for all his life. He just wanted some peace and quiet to process and drown in the soothing stars before his closed eyes.

"Shut up," his voice was as raw as Jared's had been soft, "you're everything I hate. Everything I despise. Everything I wanna kill. Just shut up."

He whispered to the wall inches from his nose, his words ringing defeated in the darkness and in the smell of candle smoke.

"I know. I know, Jensen."

Jared's voice was soft and he could feel his eyes boring into the back of his neck, but it was okay. Better that than Jared seeing his face. Seeing just how much he longed to not be alone anymore, to have someone to talk to, someone to be there for him. To just be there. His heart and his brain were at war with each other; one wanted family, the other wanted to be left the fuck alone.

But Alineja had always said that sometimes the brain needs a time out and the heart should take over, because the heart feels things the brain could never know about.

And it were those words that made him whisper: "But … you were, are … still my uncle."

Those words didn't hurt, not in the way he expected them too. Didn't sting, didn't stink of lies, because once upon a time, Jared had been his uncle. Had taught him things, valuable things, stuff he had to use every day of his life.

Deception and betrayal as it may've been, Jared and Alineja had never hurt him. Never did anything that would ever cause him pain or harm him in any way. Never.

"Alineja and I, we've always loved you. The second my hands touched you," the smirk was evident in Jared's voice, "all covered in goo and blood, the second I heard you wail, and … and Alineja loved you the moment I gave you into her arms. Jensen … "

"Yeah …"

He needed to stop this conversation, before he'd start remembering and start feeling that hole in his chest. That hole that hurt more than anything; any torture known to mankind.

"Get some rest, kiddo. We'll leave in the mornin'."

He didn't ask where, how, when, why. The answers to those questions weren't important. Not really, because they couldn't stay here and moving was of the essence and wherever they'd go, wherever Jared would lead him, it would be okay.

Because his uncle had never lead him astray, even if all of his life he'd been led astray.

"So it took you two days to hear the call?"

"The lines were busy, what can I say?"

CHAPTER 3b _II_ CHAPTER 5