Bendin' Bones

[soncnica]

Title: Bendin' Bones
Author: Soncnica
Rating: R, coz of language
Genre/pairing: Jared, Jensen, h/c (no pairing)
Characters: Jared, Jensen
Word count: cca. 2.400
Summary: Jared hasn't been the psychologist at Camp Gamble long. He always wanted to work with kids - troubled kids - but now it looks like he might be in over his head. Jensen is 16, Jared is 26.J2-AU. This story continues Soft Skeletons.
Warnings: Umm, child abuse, language. And Jensen is 16 and Jared is 26; I played with their ages a little and I don't care.
Disclamer: I seriously only own the grammar/spelling mistakes. Everything else is NOT MINE! ALL IS FICTION.
A/N: I can not believe I just started a verse. More A/N can be found in the story.

Okay so... read this, please: kosti!verse and I think I explained everything there. Umm, maybe I forgot something, but... yeah. I just wanna say a HUGE thank you to marlowe78 for beta-ing this and helping me with a scene in here that I wanted so badly to have, but didn't know where to put it and she was like: put it here! YEY! And then she even started the scene and all I could do was continue it. Thank you!

Jensen is asleep.

Finally.

Curled under the blankets, his face turned to Jared's eyes ... as restless as his sleep is he never turns around and shows Jared his back.

Force of habit, Jared thinks.

-:-

They walked back to camp in silence. Only the sound of their shoes hitting wet leaves had been heard in the darkness that silenced the world.

And them breathing.

Jensen's breaths hitched sometimes. Two breaths, hitch, two breaths, hitch, two breaths, hitch.

Jared could see from the corner of his eye, Jensen wiping his face in the sleeve of his shirt.

There was nothing to say. Nothing to do that would comfort the kid. Jared knew that anything he'd say would just make Jensen retreat into himself again.

After all the progress they'd had … Jared didn't want to take any chances.

But his mind … his mind was flooded with thoughts, some of them so powerful they made his head hurt.

What Jensen told him about what was happening to him at home… fuck.

-:-

Jensen's breath hitches again and he pulls his lower lip in between his teeth.

One tear runs down his cheek, getting lost in the pillow.

He doesn't make a sound and Jared wonders, if Jensen's ever been punished for making a sound when he hadn't supposed to.

He shudders. He doesn't want to think about this. Not yet. But he'll have to. He'll have to ask Jensen about this at some point. Hell, he'll have to ask the boy a lot of questions at some point and he'll have to get ready to hear the answers too.

The darkness in the room is suffocating him, making him feel like he's powerless, useless.

He wants to scream.

But Jensen screams for him.

-:-

The camp came in sight soon; cabins scattered everywhere, dark shapes under the moonlight.

Jensen took a turn to the right, but Jared placed his hand on the kid's boney shoulder, steering him to the left… he'd bring the kid to his own cabin, force him to lie down on his bed, make him fall asleep under his covers.

Just one night of safety. Sleeping safe, being safe, feeling safe.

Feeling protected.

Plus, he didn't have the heart to send the boy to his cabin, where all the rest of the kids would see. And they would see. Kids weren't stupid, they know. With just one look, they could tell that something was going on and Jared couldn't risk them knowing about what happened to Jensen.

"'s right…" Jensen whispered, probably not trusting his voice yet, his shoulder shaking underneath Jared's hand, his breathing picking up speed.

Shit. Jensen was starting to panic. Shit, shit, shit… okay.

"You're gonna sleep in my cabin."

Jensen stopped.

"No."

"Jensen, 's alright, look, I just want you to sleep, okay. Somewhere safe, alright? 'm not gonna hurt you, okay?"

Jared waited. Waited for Jensen to process those words and grab hold of the word 'safe', because if not then… well, he doesn't know what then.

Jensen nodded too soon. Way too soon.

Damn it. The kid probably complied just because it was what he did … fuckfuckfuck… damnit.

"Jensen, look, if you wanna you can go to your cabin, 's okay. I just thought that you'd like to sleep somewhere where there aren't a bunch of people. You know?"

Where no one can hurt ya, and I can keep an eye on ya, so that you don't hurt yourself.

Jensen just started to walk in front of Jared, dragging his feet on the root-covered ground, shoulders hunched, the hitch in his breathing gone by now, hands by his sides, fingers relaxed.

"Well okay then."

Jared followed him.

The cabin was just as they left it. With the front doors still open inviting in the chill of the night.

-:-

Jared's up from his chair that he positioned into the corner of the room like someone lit a fire under his ass.

"Jensen?"

The boy's scream dies into a sob and then into silence.

Jared stands in front of the bed, his knees touching its side, leaning onto it, because his legs feel weak, muscles tired, screaming at him to just give up, curl up and sleep.

But he can't.

He has to keep Jensen safe.

He has to.

"'s it, just sleep." He says to the mass of blanket and clothes that is Jensen and walks back to his chair.

It's still warm when he sits down.

-:-

"'s okay, you're safe here," Jared said when he saw Jensen's eyes move around the cabin, fingers twitching, "ain't no one gonna…" touch, see, hear, look at you, talk to you, make you do things you don't wanna do, "… you're safe here, alright. Trust me."

Jensen's eyes were wide open. Scared. His fingers were twitching against his thighs.

"Here, put this on," Jared handed Jensen a T-shirt, "your shirt's wet, don't want you to get a cold, okay."

Jensen took the T-shirt and looked at it like it was gonna eat him alive.

"I'll… turn around, okay?"

He did. He didn't wanna do anything that would break the fragile trust he build with the kid because Jensen needed help and the only way he would accept help… was if he trusted.

Trust… was the key word here. Once he'd get that from this kid, things would only go up from there.

Jared stood there, hands by his sides, looking through the window at how the trees were moving in the wind, leaves hitting the window and plastering themselves to the wet glass.

His eyes were on the window, but his thoughts and ears were with Jensen. Building up trust with an abused kid was hard and it took time and effort… he had the 'effort' part, but he didn't have the 'time' part. He didn't have an abundance of time, he only had another few weeks to get this kid to trust him and talk to him and just open up to him. He had to achieve that in the span of a few weeks and that… that'd be hard, but he… there was no noise. There was no rustle of clothes on skin, there was no shuffling feet, there was nothing… only the wind, breaths and silence.

Should he turn around? Should he give Jensen another minute or two? What? What the hell should he do?

They didn't teach you this in school. They didn't tell you what to do in situations like this. Not really.

He sighed. He had to see, had to check what was wrong.

He peeked back, just a quick look, just to be sure that Jensen was still there; that he hadn't run away again, because that would… well… it would be really, really bad for the whole 'trust building'' thing.

The boy just stood there, in the middle of the room looking lost with big eyes and waves of shivers running over his skin, the quiet 'drip-drip-drip' from his soaked shirt and jeans on the wooden floor seemed thunder loud in Jared's ears.

He had never seen anything like this. Jensen was just standing there, dry T-shirt clutched tightly in his hand, shivering and looking so lost, Jared didn't know what to do really.

They really did not teach you this in school.

But…

…he needed to help.

But…

…he couldn't help.

Could he?

He'd have to touch him. Should he touch him or would that be some kind of 'crossing a line' thing? He didn't wanna cross any lines.

Damnit…

… he couldn't just stand there like a statue while a kid was freezing in wet clothes and dripping all over the floor. If the school he went to didn't teach him what to do, his mom surely did.

"Jensen?" he whispered, not wanting to spook the boy. Jensen probably went into his own world, somewhere where he coped with situations like this and the worst thing that Jared could do was to spook him and make him get lost in that world forever.

There was nothing from Jensen; no sound, no movement, he didn't even blink his eyes. He was just… glued to the spot, holding up the dry tee and trembling all over.

"Hey, Jensen?" he stepped closer. A little flinch, the teen turned his head to watch him, a bit wary, but not hostile, not afraid, not spooked.

Good, good… this was good.

"Can I… do you need some help or…?" he nudged his head to the left, squinting his eyes a little, not really sure how to say what he wanted to say.

The kid looked at him with eyes open so wide, Jared was afraid they'd leap out of the kid's eye sockets.

He made one more step closer, raising his right hand towards the tee Jensen was holding: "Do you…," he left out a breath, he was freakin' frustrated with himself that he just couldn't… but really, everything that he'd do from this moment forward, Jensen could interpret in a very, very wrong way.

He cleared his throat and made another step closer to Jensen, his fingers grabbing the T-shirt: "You know, when I was a kid…" he took the shirt from the boy's grasp, nodding to Jensen his thank you, "… whenever I was sick and had a fever…" he threw the shirt on the bed and stepped even closer to the kid who was still watching him, still shivering, "… I sweated a lot, like a lot…" he gripped the hem of the boy's wet shirt and tugged, "…lift up your arms… my mom said I was sweating buckets, she was always surprised at where all that sweat was coming from, ya know…" he smiled and slipped the wet shirt off of the boy and threw it into the corner. He winced when he saw that the boy's chest and stomach was full of little scars, healed sure, small and unnoticeable unless you were standing really, really close but still there.

"She always came to me with a clean, dry shirt…" he grabbed the clean, dry T-shirt, telling the kid to lift up his arms again, "… and helped me get rid of the wet one and helped me put on a dry one…" and slipped the new tee down the boy's arms, covering the scars on the boy's chest and stomach, making a note inside of his head to ask about that later, "… and then gave me more tea, that I'd sweat out later and she had to get me more fresh shirts asking me again where I come up with so much liquid."

He rolled his eyes and smiled when he saw that Jensen wasn't flinching, wasn't scared, wasn't in his own world but was looking at him with interest.

"My mom never did that." Jensen whispered with a hoarse voice and Jared could tell, just by the sound of the kid's voice that he was barely keeping the tears in.

Jared lowered his head and shut his eyes, wanting to kick himself for telling that story, damn it, of course Jensen's mom never did that to him. Damn it, damn it, damn it, what was he thinking? What?

"I'm…"

"Don't say you're sorry." Harsh.

"Okay…" Soft.

He pressed his lips shut tight, so that no more stupid crap would fly out of his mouth anytime soon.

"Thanks, though." Jensen pointed to his fresh shirt, lifting the hem of it up and twisting it between his fingers.

Jared looked up from the floor: "No problem. Need help with your pants too?"

He bit his tongue. What the hell was wrong with him? Seriously? What the hell? Pants? What the hell was he thinking?

Jensen smiled: "I can handle those on my own." and Jared breathed out loudly.

"I just… didn't… you were here and… I never… bad things always…"

Jensen was gasping for breath now, trying to say what was on his mind, trying to tell Jared more about his life, about what was going on and Jared had to stop him: "Just go to sleep, Jensen, alright?" before Jensen hyperventilated and passed out.

He pushed Jensen towards the bed while he spoke, pushed the kid to sit down on it, pushed him to lay down and covered him with the blanket he brought from home - something that smelled familiar and safe - and watched the kid slide underneath it, wrestling with his pants and throwing them onto the floor when he got them off.

"Sweats, they're mine, kinda big, but they're fresh and it's only for one night."

Jensen watched him. So intensely: "Okay."

"Okay."

Jared didn't know what to do with himself while Jensen was putting on the sweats, but conversation wasn't really in order.

The wind picked up speed outside. Would be a lousy day tomorrow. Rain.

"Just go to sleep now, alright?"

"Can't sleep. I just wanna..."

Jensen whispered from beneath the covers.

"Wanna what?"

Jensen's eyes were red from crying, puffy around the edges, shining in the dim light.

Wanna go away, wanna run away, wanna not be here. Wanna be left alone.

"Wanna what, Jensen?"

Wanna feel safe.

"Nothin'."

"Uh, okay... ummm, yeah, just... try to get some sleep, alright?"

Jensen closed his eyes slowly, blinking them open the very next second. And then closing them again, slowly. And blinking them open again.

Close.

Open.

Close.

Open.

"Jensen, you're safe here. Ain't no one gonna hurt you here, okay? 'm not gonna hurt you and I'm not gonna let anyone else hurt you." ever again.

He sounded like a broken record, he knew that, but if there was anything he learned and knew, it was that words… words were powerful. The more you said the same words over and over again; they became more believable, tangible even.

Jensen needed that. He needed to know that he was safe and that no one would hurt him. Ever again.

Jensen looked at him. Blinked and closed his eyes. He didn't open them up again.

-:-

Jared sighs and runs his hands over his tired face. His eyes are burning, he hasn't slept in over a day and he knows that he won't be able to sleep for a few more hours.

Jensen's fate is in his hands; the boy who is turning on his back right then... that boy's fate is in his hands.

But one thing is for sure. He won't let Jensen go back home.

The End.

The Bones Are Bending

Comments

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

*headdesk* a VERSE!!! I created a verse... damnit... BUT BUT BUT... I JUST CAN'T STOP WITH THIS STORY!!!! help *cries*

haha, yeah it is MORE fictional... I mean THIS could never REALLY happen, because well the whole age difference and all.... tnx for liking this one :)
I think Jared wants to do that to Jens here too, BUT he can't and must not! :) they'll have to talk and talk and talk and well ya know.. Jensen will have his share of freak outs :)
yeah his mom never did anything motherly to him.. that poor kid :(

thank you for reading this, babe! :)

hugs
S.

[darthnikki.livejournal.com]

**But one thing was for sure. He wouldn't let Jensen go back home.** GOOD!!! and Jared should go kick some ass too!! I know he can't, not if he wants to really help Jen, but the thoughts are nice!!

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

ahha, yeah... Jared won't let anything happen to Jensen and he won't send him home... that's for sure... he doesn't know YET how he's gonna do that, but he will... just watch him :)

yeah, Jared can't actually DO much, like he can't go kick some ass or even touch Jensen or anything... so... he has a lot of work to do :)

thank you so much for reading this :)))

S.

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

when you write THOSE then I'll come to your brain :)

god help us.. yeah

yeah he CAN'T DO anything, really... I mean he can't touch Jensen, can't offer him A LOT of comfort in the form of physical comfort, and he can't really do much about his parents (like kick their ass LOL) but he'll try to do something, get to Jensen somehow... :)

aww you liked that scene!? I NEEDED that scene that is why this took me so long, I didn't know WHERE to put the damned thing LOL :)

ahahah, yeah you smooth out the blanket.. oh hey, Jared can do that too.... hmmm

[serendip50.livejournal.com]

Love this verse.

Poor abused Jensen is just too broken to understand Jared's ministrations right now. And Jared is trying so hard to be comforting whilst not being too tactile that Jensen could misinterpret it. Wonderfully done with the aid of a distracting story and although Jared's intentions were worthy it did slightly backfire, just a tad...awwww Jensen. That boy needs a loving home, eventually.

Love reading Jensen's mind dialogue...it is an enlightening experience. Well done.

I hope to read more soon. xx

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

HEY :)

I still can not believe I just made a verse *headdesk* but this plot just won't leave me alone :) 'm really happy you're liking this :)

yeah it's a really fine line between being comforting and doing something that would freak Jensen out... so yeah, Jared will have a lot of work to do to GET Jensen to trust him so that together they'll be able to do something about Jensen's situation :)

you liked that scene!? aww thank you!!! and yeah it did kinda backfire, poor Jared... he's trying so hard, but... well yeah... and I bet he'll do some silly things in the future too :)

thank you so much :) yup, the next part should be up sometime this week :)

thank you!

S.

[darthnikki.livejournal.com]

I have to bombard you now with lots of comments coz I wants more, plus marlowe78 is an enabler and has told me to so you'll write more!!! lol xx come on now, get to it!!

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

*starts laughing* ROFL! oh man, what have I gotten myself into?! *headdesk* LOL :) you crazy chicks! :)

and hey, are you better now, or still sick!? hmmm?!?! :)

[jjinmo-356.livejournal.com]

wow Jared has his work cut out for him, great update

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

yeah he sure has... and it's gonna suck and it's gonna be hard and it's gonna take time and effort and some pain and crying (but I'll try to keep them AS MEN, so those will be manly tears), but... maybe he'll do his job right and save Jensen... :)

thank you!!!

S.

[darthnikki.livejournal.com]

he he he he.........I never claimed to be sane!! sanity is overated ya know!! I'm so much better honey, feel like a human being again!! am going snowboarding next week as I got a weeks holiday from work should be nice. I'll write ya out a full reply in a pm :0) where I shall tell you my inner most thoughts on a certain female!! you lucky girl you!!!

[marlowe78.livejournal.com]

You know I love this, right?

I do, and I want to know how Jared manages to get Jensen away. I'll be here, waiting patiently to help and to read and to comment *nods*

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

I KNOW!! *beams* thank you! :)

how Jared will get Jensen away!? well, however he will do it, you'll be the first to know becasue you are my beta for this! so yeah.... but I DO KNOW how and such, so... :)

*hugs you* tnx!... for the support and all! :)

S.

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

great... another insane person *facepalm* HOW WILL I GET SANE if I'm surrounded by crazy people!? but yeah... sanity is overated! :) LOL

awesome, i'm so glad you're feeling better!!!! and please do not harm yourself while snowboarding! coz that would... SUCK!

good, good...I'll go check that PM :)))) *grins*

S.

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

yeah, Jared really has TO THINK a lot about WHAT and HOW he's gonna do something, he can't just give Jensen a hug like he wants to, like he would do if Jensen was just his friend or something... and so Jared has a really really hard job in front of him, because he has to get Jensen to trust him and to talk to him and they have to figure out a way to get Jensen out of that house, because Jensen is only 16, that will be hard!
yeah it's all like... he's a professional but he's human also and he has to be very careful NOT to cross any lines, even if it kills him to do so...

yeah that scene does come VERY VERY close to that line, but I think that Jared talking about his mom doing this and the fact that he never touched Jensen's skin and I think that Jensen would never tell anyone about this, because there was barely any contact and if there was I think Jensen would scream bloody murder! :)
but yeah I think that Jensen will never tell anyone about THAT scene, because Jared didn't actually touch him he just.. got the shirt off and replaced it with another one and that was it...
but it's still hard, because that line is so thin! :)

yeah it's the same here... very hands-off... :)

aww okay I won't ask anymore... you just write when you can and when you feel like it *hugs*
I think that writing should be fun, idk, should be something you do because it relaxes you and as soon as things get stressful... idk, it kinda ruins the whole WRITING IS TO DE-STRESS ME thing :)
so yea... you just write when you can! no pressure from me!

hugs
S.

[dreamers-dh.livejournal.com]

Thank God there is more of this!!! *sighs happily*

It's funny to read this part after reading the Jared POV from the first part because I could swear now I'm stuck in Jareds head... and I like it there. He thinks the right things and I hope he can help Jensen

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

:))))))) yeah 'm telling you, I just can't let this plot go :)))

heeee, well because 'm writing this story I HAVE TO be stuck in Jared's and Jensen's head here, and idk, i love them both here... Jensen so broken and Jared trying his best to do his thing, but without being tooooooooooo unprofessional :) so, yeah... being stuck in these two boys heads is kinda awesome, right!? :))))

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

S.

[ferrous-wheeler.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful! Wish that Jared could just give the boy a hug!
And interesting that Jared only has a couple of weeks to help Jensen. You've really got me wondering how he's going to get him away from his parents and, if he does, how Jensen having his abuse revealed may send him into an even worse tail-spin. Guess I'll just have to keep reading to find out! :)

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

Hey!

Thank you for your comment! Yeah I really wish Jared could just hug Jensen, but, idk, he can't really, there is a line that he can't cross, but he sure wants to, so maybe one day, when he will tell the world to go screw itself with its rules :-)
About the couple of weeks, yeah a really short time, but I have to stay in lines of how long a camp lasts, so, yeah .. *sigh* poor boys, they will have to hurry .. or not?!
:-):-):-) *grins* then I will see you next story I post in this verse! *hugs* :-):-)

S.